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Trinity Godiva’s Sex Talk is published every Tuesday in Cape Town’s Daily Voice in South Africa. Godiva’s writing style and sexual expertise has captured the hearts and libido’s of the Cape Town’s “mense.” If your publication needs a great Sex Columnist, feel free to make contact on 0839534843 or www.trinitygodiva@gmail.com

Godiva is a true revolutionary and answers readers questions in a forthright and no-holds barred manner, which delights publishers and advertisers alike.

GODIVA’S SEX TALK

Wash your penis before coming to bed! Women in a survey said that men who washed their penises directly before sex had a much better chance of getting oral sex than the smelly underpants non-washers.

Shaven genitals have become the new fashion! Fashion magazines like “Vogue” now have pictures of nude models with shaven mounds. Women claim that shaving gets them more oral sex.

Questions and Answers

I am with such a klooster koek! My kin has to be forced into pomping in exciting places. If she had her way we would only ever pomp in the bedroom. But I like to have her doggy-style on her bosses desk after hours. She is very shy before-hand, but during the pomp she gets op en wakker and very jas. Are there other public places where can we pomp safely, without her gaaning aan that we are going to get bust?

PUBLIC POMP, CAPE FLATS

• Lift-Off – Sex in a lift is a famous fantasy. Just make sure you choose an after hours service lift in a quiet office. Pick one with a stop button, lots of mirrors and a handrail for leverage.

• Stair Sex – An abandoned staircase is doubly as exciting, using the stair railing for support.

• Club Fun – Go for very dark corners in night-clubs. The club toilet is also a famous spot for semi-exhibitionist sex.

• Movie Magic – She sits on your lap, lifting her skirt up and pulling her panties aside, in a screaming horror movie. Sit right at the back for minimum interference.

• Car Crazy – The back seat of the car parked in a safe out of the way area, is always a good backup if you can’t find a naughtier place.

• Naughty Nature – Go on a nature walk and stray off your path. Pack a nice thick blanket in your picnic basket for a comfy outdoor experience!

Last week my ex-stukkie came around for a visit and we ended up having the best sex ever. We got back together again and guess what? The sex has gone back to boring, once again. Why is sex so exciting when we are broken up?

EX-SEX, BONTEHEUVAL

When we have sex with the ex, the idea that enters the mind is “This could be the last time!” and that thought makes us wild, and eager to enjoy every last minute for what it’s worth. You are totally focussed on enjoying being in the moment. The sex is so hot is because you have already rejected this person, and your ex-lover has already rejected you. This means that you are released from all future expectations. With a new “dont-care” attitude of fun, you can also forget about the worrying aspects of sex, for example, “Am I good enough? Am I doing it right?”

Is it true that I can use sex to make my dreams come true and bring money into my life? I have heard about sex magic and I would like to try it. How does it work? What must I do?

SEX DREAM, MUIZENBURG

Sex Magic works because you are using all of your sexual energy to concentrate on your dreams. Imagine that your ultimate dream has already come true, at the crucial moment of orgasm. If you think about your dream instead of a fantasy sex partner, during sex, and especially during orgasm, your everyday action out of bed will be super-focussed on bringing your dream alive.

I want to visit a sex shop with my skelm. I have never been there with a partner. Last time I was in an adult store, this really vuil old man walked up to me, but I quickly ran out the shop, before he could pull a false move. This time I want to have fun without feeling skaam or threatened. What procedure must we follow?

ADULT ENTERTAINMENT, KUILSRIVIER

Before your sex-trip, check out on the internet what kind of toys are going to turn you on. This way you know more or less what to look for when you get there. Get to the shop during the day, avoid lunch hour, when it’s not so busy and greet the shop assistant when you first walk in the door. Behave naturally and avoid eye contact with any other shoppers, to discourage them from approaching you. Definitely ask the assistant for advice on best-selling items and tips. These people are not easily embarrassed and have a wealth of knowledge that they are very happy to share with you. It’s O.K. to giggle at funny sex toys.

I need a wys way to get my wife into bed. I love the difficult vrou very much and I love having sex with her but she says she needs romance. I can’t afford to take her out for dinner and dancing every time I want to make love! Any solutions?

NO CASH 4 ROMANCE, SALT RIVER

Get naked and then cook her dinner! Whew! Who can resist a sexy man with food? Cut up tasty bite sized treats and then hand-feed her your creations. Romance needs imagination, not money

How do I make foreplay more interesting? It’s always the usual “vry, feel and fu*k” I am so gatvol that I actually get the moer in when my husband starts with his usual routine. How can I have sex when I am angry?

GATVOL OF THE ROUTINE, HOUT BAY

You make the first move this time and suggest a body painting evening. Turn sex into a teaching art game by using your own creativity and sense of fun to switch off negative emotions. Use body paint to create patterns all over his naked flesh, and also use chocolate spread, honey and liquid caramel on the secret places that you want him to spend more time on. Think of blue paint on your nipples to signal the “no-go zone” together with “eat-me” circles of chocolate painted around the breasts and the curve of the belly. Imagine slowly licking red arrows of strawberry sauce that are drawn along his penis. Once the paint has dried, the game is to avoid the paint and go for the sweet bits.

I am 22-year-old wife, a shopkeeper and a part-time matric student. I have only recently lost my virginity. My husband is a very experienced older man and I feel like a dof beginner. How do I learn to have an expert technique very quickly?

BEGINNER, GRASSY PARK

A strong desire is the greatest turn-on in the world. Let him know how much you want him and how excited you are to learn new things! A willingness to learn far outweighs any overdone technique. For women, the key is learning to let go enough to allow yourself to orgasm, instead of constantly trying out some performance aimed to please him.

I am approaching 40 and I just can’t pomp the way I used to. My arms get tired and I am sat before she is even close to cumming. I feel insecure and now I watch even more T.V. than before, at bedtime to avoid sex. How do I get out of sex, or get back to my former glory days?

T.V. AT BEDTIME, ATHLONE

A simple skipping session with a jump rope every morning, for 20 minutes before breakfast, will quickly get your fitness levels healthy again. If you can’t face the fast moving exercise every day, make sure you get at least 30 minutes of strong activity 3 times a week to get sexy stamina and a strong blood flow.

Women are capable of much longer orgasms than men. The classical climax is experienced in waves of pleasure that can last up to several minutes. The average woman takes 3.9 minutes to orgasm when she is using a sex toy or some other direct stimulation.

The average male orgasm is usually 1 minute and 30 seconds, after penetrative sex that lasts on average for 7.3 minutes. When he masturbates the average guy takes 2.4 minutes to cum.

Why does my wife prefer her vibrator to me?

VIBEY WIFE, RONDEBOSCH EAST

Only 75% of women report having orgasms from penetration alone. Don’t take it personally, just use whatever works as part of your pleasure.

The vibrator gives a constant boring rhythm – which is what works for a clitoral orgasm.

My kin grils if I go for her magic button at the top of her koek. I thought that women like to have a guy suck and play with the clit?

KOEKIE BUTTON, RYLANDS

Be gentle with her flower. Imagine you are a bee searching delicately in the folds of a rose, searching for honey. Then grab hold of the outer lips and use them to massage the little pea inside. For the sexiest results, watch how she does it and then be a copycat.

I love my man to bite my a$$ cheeks and then he must lick my gat and koekie before he gets inside of me. But this ou complains that my bum is not always clean. Where we live, without hot water or a bathroom it is not always easy to wash before sex. Is there an alternative or do we have to eat sh!t?

EATING SH!T, NYANGA

A$$ worshippers can use baby wipes just before sex, as part of your foreplay. To keep your bum cheeks safe and clean for licking and biting, make a habit of lifting your feet onto the toilet and squatting on the loo seat – on your haunches, instead of sitting down flat on the toilet.

I think there is something wrong with me. My clitoris is very big. It sticks out and brushes against my panties, or my skirt if I forget to wear underwear. What is the usual size of a woman’s clit?

BIG CLIT, ROCKLANDS

Many different clitoris sizes have been reported, the larger model can take more action and the smaller size is more sensitive. But all different size clits are normal and the right touch makes them the most incredible pleasure bringers.

In a clitoris survey the average size of a woman’s clit was equal to that of a pencil eraser.

I would like to lick my wife and give her a clitoral orgasm at the same time as a g-spot orgasm.

SUPERMAN, HOUT BAY

Most delicious action! Form a finger clamp with your hand while your face is in between her legs.

Using rhythmic little circles, rub the clit using your thumb together with your tongue. At the same time slip while one or more fingers inside of her, curling towards her belly button, right on the slightly rough button that is her g-spot.

I consider my self a lesbian in training, even though I am a man. I would smaak to be a girl and if I were, I would be a lesbian woman. I have heard that lesbo chicks do all kinds of kinky stuff like Tribadism.

How does one do this?

TRY-BAD, CAPE FLATS

Tribadism is the rubbing of your genitals against another person’s genitals. You can straddle your lover’s leg, pubic bone or any other body part. A lot of women can orgasm just from this stimulation.

Is it dangerous for me to put bananas, cucumbers and carrots up my koekie? I don’t have a boyfriend or a husband, I am 36-years-old and I need to feel something stiff inside of me when I cum.

FRUIT & VEG, DIEP RIVER

You should be safe as long as your vegetables are undamaged and washed properly first. Be gentle on yourself when easing the length in, and make sure that you are always using some sort of slippery lubrication. Choose firm, under ripe instead of juicy, over ripe fruit and vegetables.

How do I get my girl to suck my shlong? I have tried asking nicely. I bought her a dress and I did all the dishes last week because she promised me a blow in return. But then she fell asleep. I am still waiting.

WAITING, PAROW

Start seducing your woman by licking at her girl flower. Spend a long time kissing her wet lips with a rubbing finger action gently on her buzz button. When she is very turned on, turn around so that she can get to your weapon, and brush it against her face, getting in a side-by-side 69 position.